


The Room Where It Happens

by thekindworthreading



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, is it a alex is scared of storms fic? yes it is, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24369787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Alexander should concentrate on the meeting with Jefferson and Madison, but there is a storm outside, bringing up unwanted memories.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 16
Kudos: 223





	The Room Where It Happens

**Author's Note:**

> Have I been doing this instead of studying for my property law exam? No one will ever know (except @gagakuma and @goddamnfaith but they still love me, right?)

Alexander is already halfway across town on his way to the meeting with Jefferson and Madison, when the first raindrop hits his face. He can´t supress the shudder that runs through his body and quickens his steps. Luckily, the rain doesn´t really pick up until he is walking up the path to Jefferson´s house, but the wind that´s pulling at his hair and clothes has him tensing up, nonetheless.

When the door finally gets opened, Alex can´t even admit to himself how glad he is to be out of the rain, and pushes past Madison, who raises his eyebrows questioning at him.

“Are you alright?”, Madison asks quietly, his voice almost sounding like real concern.

Alex is confused for a second, before he remembers that when they were friends, he had told James about his past and that he still isn´t exactly comfortable with storms.

“Of course.”, Alex answers, forcing his mouth into a fake smile.

Madison nods, and for a moment it seems like he wants to add something, before he turns around and walks down the entry hall. Alex isn´t sure if he likes that or not, frowning at himself.

“Follow me.”, Madison calls over his shoulder. “Thomas is already waiting in the dining room.”

Alex shakes the feeling off and walks after him, soon entering a large dining room with a dark wooden table in the middle. Jefferson is talking with one of the servants and when he hears them, he turns around to them with a smile.

“Hamilton, I´m glad you´re joining us. I´m sure we will finally come to an agreement.”, he says with a confident smile.

“I hope so, too.”, Alex responds, trying to match his expression.

An awkward silence settles over them, only interrupted by the howling wind.

“Thomas, don´t you want to offer a seat to our guest?”,

The other man nods and shows Alex where to sit, while Madison takes a seat opposite of him.

“Dinner should be served in a matter of minutes; I hope you are hungry.”

Alexander nods absentmindedly, staring past Madison through the window. He can hear the rhythmic beat of the rain against the water blurred glass and it sends shivers through his body. When he shifts his eyes away from the window, he catches Madison looking at him with the same expression as before.

He is glad when the food arrives and almost manages to drown out the rain outside, splitting his attention between eating, listening to the other two man talk and making his own points. The first hour and a half of the meeting pass like that and Alex is almost feeling like himself again, but after they have eaten dessert, there isn´t anything to really distract Alex from the rain pounding against the glass of the windows and the wind howling around the house. When something crashes against the window right behind Madison, Alex can´t help flinching, and he has to close his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves.

“Jefferson, where do I find the bathroom?”, he interrupts the other man.

He clearly didn´t notice Alexander´s reaction, too caught up in a monologue about the advantages of putting the capital in Virginia. Jefferson frowns, but then explains it to him and Alex nods, standing up. His knees feel like they are about to give in, and he can feel Madison´s eyes following him as he slips out of the room.

Outside, he combs a shaky hand through his hair, his fingers feeling stiff and like they are frozen. He hurries up the stairs, doing his best to remember where Jefferson had told him to go. He needs a few tries to find the right door, but when he does, he quickly closes it behind him, sinking to the tiled floor. He starts shivering as soon as he hits the ground, both from the cold and his panic. He draws his knees up to his chest, softly rocking himself back and forth. He is breathing in fast, short puffs, desperately trying to get enough air into his too tight lungs. His heart is pounding and feels like it wants to escape his chest. The room is spinning around him, his thoughts racing. He stays like this for what feels like hours, doing his best to keep the memories out, but he can´t help fight the pictures appearing in front of his eyes. He squeezes them shut, but it doesn´t help and only increases the intensity of it.

Like far away he can hear a knocking on the door, and he snaps his eyes open. They need a moment to focus on the bathtub in front of him.

“Hamilton, are you still in there?”, a voice – Madison´s voice – asks through the door.

Alex blinks a few times, trying to make sense of it all.

“Alexander, open the door.”, Madison says again, this time more urgent.

He flinches when the other man pounds against the door once more. He stumbles to his feet and after taking a deep breath, he does as he´s told. He is met with Madison´s face full of worry, and he nearly closes the door in his face again, but the smaller man takes a step forward, holding onto his arm.

“It´s alright, Alexander, you are safe here.”, Madison says quietly.

Alex shakes his head, his eyes wild. He doesn´t feel safe, he feels trapped with no place to go.

“Alex, breathe.”

He takes a shuddering breath, his mind still racing and the world spinning around him. He wants to bury his face in James´ shoulder and let the other man hold him and make him feel safe, but at the same time he wants to be alone and just curl up on the floor again.

“Come, the study is a lot more comfortable than the bathroom floor.”, James says, like he has just read his thoughts.

Alexander doesn´t move, but James takes his hand, pulling him along down the hallway and he can do nothing except stumble after him. After a few moments he opens the door to a small room, that´s warmed by a fire. Jefferson is sitting on a couch and looks up from the newspaper when they enter. Alex feels a jolt of fear passing through him, but relaxes when he sees the genuine concern showing in Jefferson´s face, instead of the usual mock.

“Take a seat, you look like you´re not feeling well.”, Thomas says quietly, patting the couch next to him.

Alexander has never heard his voice that gentle before, so he makes his way over, James still holding his hand, trailing behind him, and sitting down next to him. A second later, the room gets illuminated by a bolt of white-hot lightning, the thunder following shortly after. Alex lets out a scared whimper, pressing his eyes closed. He feels James´ hand leaving his and panics even more, before he feels an arm being wrapped around him. He gets pulled against the other man´s chest, and he wants melt against him, but can´t really bring himself to do it. He feels another, larger hand taking hold of his, and he tenses for a moment, before Thomas starts drawing soothing patterns on the back of them.

“You are safe here.”, Thomas repeats the words James has said earlier.

Alexander can feel tears prickling behind his eyes, and tries to take even breaths, but when another thunder rattles the windowpane, the tears start falling down his face. He feels pathetic, weak, and incredibly embarrassed by showing this side of him in front of his political opponents.

“Shh, nothing can happen here. We won´t let anything happen to you.”, James mumbles, and Thomas squeezes his hand in affirmation.

He lets out another sob, hiding his face in James´ shoulder, who instantly tightens his hold. Thomas´ hand finds his hair, combing through it with his fingers and Alexander can feel himself relaxing under the hands of his two worst enemies.

“We should retreat to the bedroom, don´t you think?”, James says quietly after some time, and Jefferson nods.

“I should go.”, Alex says, sitting up straighter.

He is met with two pairs of raised eyebrows.

“I think we all know that wouldn´t end well.”, Thomas says. “Stay.”

Another thunder has him flinching and holding onto Thomas´ hand so tight, that his knuckles turn white, so he nods, even though there is a voice in the back of his head telling him, that he is making a big mistake.

They get up, Thomas still holding his hand while James leads them to the bedroom. Inside, James quickly closes the curtains, while Alexander sits down hesitantly at the edge of the bed.

“How do you know?”, he asks Thomas, but it´s James who answers.

“I told him. My apologies, but I was worried when you didn´t come back.”

Alexander nods, averting his eyes when James starts to undo his cravat. He feels Thomas´ hands moving up to undo his own and after a moment of initial panic he lets Thomas strip him to his undergarments, far too exhausted to do it himself. He feels himself relaxing under the confident and gentle hands of Thomas, almost missing the feeling when he steps back. He hesitates a moment, unsure what to do, but when he looks back that James, he sees the other man already in bed. When James notices him looking he lifts the blanket, and Alex tentatively gets into bed beside him, curling up in his arms when he hears another thunder outside.

“Shh, it´s alright. You are safe.”, James whispers, his breath ghosting over Alexander´s skin, making him shiver.

A few moments later he feels the bed dip behind him, and after a bit of shuffling, another arm curls around him, as Thomas spoons him from behind.

“Nothing will happen to you, Alex, I promise. Try to get some sleep.”, Thomas whispers, and Alexander nods.

He can feel James´ hand searching for Thomas´, intertwining their fingers when he has found it.

“Sleep well, my two boys.”

Alex is exhausted, but still feels far too on edge to fall asleep. His eyes burn with the effort to hold them open, and he lets out a quiet whimper as something hits the window. He clings to James even more, burying his face in his chest. Thomas starts to stroke his hair again, while softly humming a tune of some lullaby Alex has long forgotten about. As he concentrates completely on Thomas´ voice, he can feel himself relaxing and slipping off into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always make my day and you can come talk to me @whatdidimissjm on tumblr :)


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